Forbes Power List Upsets Indian Women

Forbes magazine’s list of the 100 most powerful women in the world has ruffled feathers in India, where several women have denounced the list as “biased,” “unfair” and “created by men.”

“How can they create a list of powerful women and leave out Karnam Malleswari?” asked former sprinter P.T. Usha. “She lifted 240 kg at the Olympics. She’s the most powerful woman in India.”

Malleswari, who won India's only medal at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, declined to comment on the Forbes list, aside from asking a single question: “Haven’t they seen me lift?”

Forbes named German Chancellor Angela Merkel as the most powerful woman in the world, with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice coming in second. PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi was 4th and Congress President Sonia Gandhi was 13th.

“Karnam can lift 240 kg, what about Indra?” Usha asked. “All she lifts are those big checks from Pepsi.”

Told that Nooyi is in charge of a $100-billion company, Usha remained unimpressed. “Indra Nooyi may be powerful in America,” she said, “but we’ve stopped drinking Pepsi in India.”

Aishwarya Rai, perhaps the biggest film star in India, was also miffed about the Forbes list. “Who is Angela Merkel?” she asked. “What movies has she been in?”

Rai said she tries to appear calm and gentle, but is really quite belligerent and powerful. “Condoleezza Rice likes to make war,” she said, “but in case Forbes didn’t notice, the word ‘war’ appears in my name. I have just chosen to keep my power under control.”

Despite her obvious displeasure about being left out, Rai said the Forbes list means nothing to her, as she had appeared on enough lists.

“Nobody in India really cares who the most powerful woman in the world is,” she said. “They’re more concerned about who the most beautiful woman is and whether or not she’s dating Abhishek Bachchan.”

The Forbes list included 53 women from America and 47 from the other 242 countries in the world, a fact that wasn’t lost on author and activist Arundhati Roy. “The editors of Forbes need to spend some time abroad,” she said. “If they came to India, they’d see numerous powerful women – and not just at the American Consulate.”

Trademark Preserves Aishwarya Rai's Title

In a long-anticipated move, Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai has registered a trademark on the phrase “the most beautiful woman in the world.” It can no longer be used to describe any other woman.

Rai has also put a trademark on an abbreviation that many of her fans have been using when chatting on the Internet or text messaging on cell phones. “The older generation knows her as ‘the most beautiful woman in the world,’” her attorney Manish Shah said. “But the younger generation knows her as TMBWITW. We felt that we owed it to her young fans to protect that abbreviation too.”

David Johnson, a clerk at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, confirmed that the trademarks had been registered. “We approved the trademarks almost instantly,” he said. “Mr. Shah cited thousands of media references and it became clear to us that when anyone uses the phrase ‘the most beautiful woman in the world,’ everyone automatically thinks of Aishwarya Rai.”

Bollywood insiders were not surprised that Rai had taken legal ownership of the “most beautiful woman” title, noting that she was visibly upset last year when a British magazine gave the title to Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie. “The queen is protecting her crown,” said Raj Bhatia of BollyScoop magazine. “The British magazine ranked Aishwarya only ninth most beautiful in the world. Can you imagine how insulted she must have felt?”

Shah said that Aishwarya does not plan to own the trademarks forever. “She realizes that as she gets older, the ‘most beautiful’ title will naturally pass to another woman,” he said. “In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she relinquishes the trademarks as soon as she turns 70.”

Meanwhile, an attorney for Angelina Jolie has vowed to trademark a title for her too. “We’re not sure what will work,” Robert Mathis said. “But we’re looking at the title ‘the most beautiful woman in the world other than Aishwarya.’ We would, of course, also trademark TMBWITWOTA.”

He added that Jolie is also competing with other actresses to trademark the phrase “The woman who is currently dating Brad Pitt.”