Sanjaya Influence Goes Far and Wide

He may be a terrible singer, as his critics charge, but American Idol finalist Sanjaya Malakar is leaving a mark on American pop culture unseen since the days of Elvis Presley.

“He’s this generation’s Elvis,” said Rolling Stone writer Ben Rattay. “They have a lot in common. For example, Elvis sang ‘Hound Dog.’ Sanjaya sounds like one.”

While millions of young men in the 1950s and ’60s sported Presley’s “ducktail” haircut and long sideburns, millions of young women are adopting the “Sanjaya hairdo.”

Like Presley, Sanjaya’s name and face are expected to sell billions of dollars worth of merchandise. Experts predict that he will be a boon not just to the music industry, but also to the shoe, clothing and ear plug industries.

Dozens of companies have already expressed interest in associating themselves with the ‘Sanjaya Brand.’ Sony hopes to produce a portable music device called the Sanjaya Player. “Sanjaya’s music will be pre-loaded,” Sony spokewoman Shuko Yomo said. “It’ll be the perfect gift for a pre-teen girl.”

Starbucks plans to introduce a new brand of coffee, to be called SanJava. “It will be a mixed brew,” Starbucks’ chairman Howard Schultz said. “Like Sanjaya, it will be half Indian and half Italian.”

General Foods is creating a microwave dinner that will be especially popular in Louisiana: Sanjaya Jambalaya.

The American public’s appetite for Sanjaya cannot be overestimated, experts say. “In a few weeks, you won’t be able to go to a mall without feeling Sanjaya’s influence,” retail specialist John Barry said. “Pre-teen girls are going to eat him up. They’ll be rushing to Gap for some SanJeans, Zales for some SanJewels, and McDonald’s for some SanJunk food.”